A Time To Build Up, A Time To Break Down (Turn! Turn! Turn!)

David Crosby died last week. Jeff Beck the week before that. We keep losing rock gods, they’re really going to be rock gods in a pantheon, aren’t they? But we aren’t here to talk about that. This is a blog post, not a Rolling Stone article.

I called in sick from work two days this week. I should’ve realized this was coming when my last time sheet showed overtime, despite last Monday being a holiday. Can’t play with this stress when this shiny new (old? new? old?) brain is still recovering from reboot mode. New sunglasses help with the sensory overload. I’m hoping they’ll lead to more walks outside during the day. I miss going outside. This sanctuary is becoming more of a sanctuary than it was, but it still feels like I’m trapped in a fishbowl or a cricket cage sometimes. I’m still way too unsteady on my feet. Currently looking into walking sticks. My psychiatrist told me that I should find a new ENT, and that makes me feel better somehow. (I mean, I sure as hell don’t know what I’m doing.)

So this is the new Unwilling Housewife… A little different from the YouTube format. Way better than the original website. Not the content creation I thought I’d be doing, but here we are. I did not think, in all this craziness, that I’d end up with another diagnosis (suspected atypical/chronic migraines), but here we are. One that leaves me significantly more limited in what I can do, and the speed at which I can do it for the time being. It means I’m shifting the direction of this creative site for a bit. Less on the costumes and more on stuff that does not require such minute focus with my eyes.

So what is my current focus? That’s a bit of a mystery at the moment. This blog is part of it. The migraine diagnosis, medication shifts, and life have led to me writing more than I have in years. If my creative output is, at the moment, limited to the page, to the photograph, to the sketch, to the blog post, then so be it. If my body and brain are trying to limit my creativity, let my creativity fight back. So that’s what Screaming into the Void is. It’s my thoughts, my meanderings, my creative output, my recipes, my patterns, whatever flows out of my head. (I’m not putting my screenplay up here. I don’t hate myself that much.) I’m sure I’ll have some kind of structure or organization at some point, but for now it’s just Screaming into the Void. When the bigger projects are resurrected, they have a place on the website too. And, most importantly, I won’t die of boredom. I’ll have more up later. I meant to have more here weeks ago, but life got in the way (as it so often does). Until next time, unclench your jaw, drink water, don’t fall asleep on your sofa, and Cheers.
-M