Silent Explosions in My Mind
Happy Fall! Fall always feels happier and more comforting somehow. And it’s more than the upcoming spooky season. It’s the Renaissance Festival and my wedding anniversary and a lot of happy happy birthdays and colder weather and the leaves changing color and typically the end to so much pressure in my head. So many “silent explosions in my mind”. (thank you Spanish Love Songs!) Colder weather means less pressure on my sinuses. And I'm not sure how much longer I can handle the pressure. (but that’s a different band and a different song…)
I have to find a new ENT. The one I had (#2, if we’re counting) was belittling and misogynistic. I sat in a chair in a tiny white room while he and two male med students stared at me, did not examine me fully, did not answer my questions or offer solutions, and sent me out the door. I later found out that the doctor entered false information into the appointment report. I have since filed a complaint with his hospital. 3, actually. Because my insurance requires referrals, I have requested one from my doctor. I asked for one two weeks ago. I’m still waiting.
This chronic illness insanity so often feels like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. (And some days 3 steps back.) It’s fucked up my future, my relationships, my marriage, my career, my life… I constantly feel like I’m on the verge of losing everything and everyone that’s important to me But! I do have good things on the horizon. My day job just gave me a raise and a bonus for sticking it out for two years. (I love my day job.) I’ve gotten raises before, but this is the first employer that’s given me a bonus. My husband and I have decided that half of it is going to be invested here in Unwilling Housewife.
That means I might have some mini projects on the horizon! Nothing especially huge, just some things to stock the Etsy store for the holidays and make gifts for friends and family. I’m still not planning to get back into large projects until after we move house. Until then I will keep posting my crafting and cooking photos and videos on Instagram and possibly YouTube as I have the spoons to do so. I am planning to start posting recipes here soon, starting with one inspired by a dish served at a favorite NYC restaurant.
So much to look forward to this Fall! (And next Fall, but that's another post…) I’m joining the screaming masses in seeing Taylor Swift’s Era’s Tour when it comes to a theater near me in a couple of weeks. (I’ll be well prepared with earplugs and anxiety meds!) SUPER EXCITED!!! I’m going to try to see Better Than Ezra at the beginning of November, but then I’m definitely seeing Spanish Love Songs (and a couple of other bands I’m unfamiliar with) later in the month. Going to shows and seeing acts I’ve never heard of is one of my favorite ways to discover new music, and I can’t remember the last time I did it, so I’m really looking forward to this.
I’m just trying to take my life back, one piece at a time. Through the things I love the most like art and music and writing and my friends and nature - on top of all this medical insanity. Keeping me sane in spite of the medical insanity. Whatever it is, it seems to be working. Our household seems to be headed in a good direction and I have a good feeling about this season. I’ll feel better once I have a new ENT, but I’m feeling good all the same. Now to start my day and deal with more chaos… Cheers!
